It can be so hard to love yourself, but one of the best things we can do for ourselves. As a society, we tend to think it’s selfish to put ourselves before others because that’s what we were taught growing up. That was during a time that mental health wasn’t talked about as much.
Here are 8 things we can do to help take care of ourselves daily.
Spend 10 minutes a day meditating or just being alone with yourself
Spending time alone can be very daunting especially for people who are very social and love to be surrounded by people all the time. We tend to think of it as lonely or isolating. Honestly, it is probably one of the best things we can do for ourselves to regroup and de-stress.
“Meditation is one of the most targeted ways to develop a new relationship with your thoughts. Rather than pushing them away or latching onto your thoughts, learning to observe them AND THEN act is integral to behaving in line with your own values.” Brandon Klein, Meditation Coach at Wise Mind Gentle Soul.
De-clutter Different Parts of Your Life
Sometimes when there are parts of our lives that feel messy and unorganized the best thing, we can do is to spend time and clean it up.
“What I know for sure is that when you de-clutter – whether it’s on your home, your head, or your heart – it is astounding what will flow into that space that will enrich you, your life, and your family.” Peter Walsh, Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight: The Six-Week Total-Life Slim Down.
I can agree with what Peter Walsh is stating. A few months back my room was in disarray and it felt like I was constantly being suffocated. I took a couple of days and went through everything from my clothes, my drawers, my closet, and even under my bed. My room was spotless, and it made feel like a weight was lifted from my chest. It has been up and down since that, but like life, it is a continuous cycle of messy and clean. My soul feels cleansed and my room becomes my solace once again. It doesn’t have to be your room. It can be anything that is unorganized and doesn’t feel right.
Drink Water Daily
We are always told to drink 8, 8 oz glasses of water a day and that can sound horrible especially if you are not someone who likes water. You can create a challenge for yourself that if you drink a certain amount you give yourself something. You can also eat vegetables that have water and don’t forget you can infuse fruit to give it flavor. The benefits of drinking water outweigh the bland taste.
Kelly Housman, Licensed Counselor, Writer, and Speaker is also a big fan of water.
“Drinking water is something so simple (and free!!) that it’s often overlooked as a quick and easy self-care idea. So many of us are dehydrated and even just one extra glass a day can help with energy, fullness, and giving back to our body. Make a commitment to get an additional glass in each day and see how much better you feel even after a week. It’s an easy way to start changes for a healthier you.”
Write Down Daily Goals You Want to Accomplish
One thing I have learned when my brain feels like it’s going to explode with everything, on my to-do list is to write down goals that I want to accomplish that day. When I accomplish each one and cross it off it’s the best feeling. It helps to make the daunting task, not feel so far out of reach. Sometimes you just have to step back and realize your priorities.
According to, Monica K. Goodwin, Licensed Adult and Adolescent Therapist, “It is important to take time out of our busy lives to focus on self-care. We often give more to others then we give to ourselves. This outpouring of our energy often leads to burn out and a feeling of depletion. What I recommend to my clients is that they honor themselves by taking a “time out “to replenish their energy. This can be accomplished in many ways. One way that many people find helpful is to journal.
Writing down one’s thoughts and feelings is a productive way to cleanse your mind, clear your thoughts, and clarify your goals. Another helpful way to replenish your spirit is to meditate. This can be done by unplugging from your iPad, phone, and all technology -closing your eyes and breathing in and out deeply.”
Start Planning Weekly Get-Together’s With Your Friends
Being with your friends can really get you out of the bad times even if it is only for a little while. Obviously, during this time it’s not as easy because of quarantine, but there is always a way to fix the situation.
Kelly Housman, Licensed Counselor, Writer, and Speaker loves to spend time with loved ones.
“One thing you can do to love yourself is to share the love with others! Reach out to a friend who maybe you have lost touch with and schedule a coffee date or grab dinner. You can even make it a fun weekly thing to catch up and spend time with a different (or the same) friend weekly.”
It could be as simple as a weekly zoom call, or virtual happy hour. There are so many fun ways to be with people, you just have to be creative.
Do One Thing That Scares You
There is always something that scares us whether it is the fear of failing, speaking to strangers, or going to new places. The possibilities are endless. If we each did one thing a day that scared us it would make us feel more fearless in everyday life and feel proud of ourselves.
If you are afraid of failing, do something small like talking with strangers about your business, join a class, start a blog. It can be as simple as talking about your business, to doing a video on Instagram to as scary as bungee jumping. Anything you fear just do it and worst-case scenario you don’t do it again, but at least you know you tried.
I think that Russ Harris, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living said it best.
“Experiential avoidance means the ongoing attempt to avoid, escape from, or get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, and memories—even when doing so is harmful, useless, or costly.”
Say Positive Things to Yourself
It might feel weird to continuously say positive things to yourself, but the more you do it the more you will feel at ease with it. If at first, you don’t feel comfortable saying it out loud to yourself you can always write it down to daily and read it to yourself or let this be your one scary thing a day. So many negative things happen to us daily and it can be hard to remember or say positive things to ourselves, but it is so important.
Monica K. Goodwin, Licensed Adult and Adolescent Psychotherapist agrees.
“Letting go of all negativity with each breath and relaxing your mind and body. Sitting quietly in a dimmed room with your eyes closed while focusing on a positive thought or intention, for at least 15 min a day, can leave you feeling relaxed, refreshed, and invigorated. It is also helpful to think of 10 things that you are grateful for in your life and to either say those things out loud or write them down daily. I do this right before I go to sleep so that I end the day with gratitude.
We all have the tendency to focus on the things that aggravate us or cause us to become fixated on the negative, so it is helpful to remember the things that we may take for granted such as our health or the health of our loved ones, that we have food to eat, our homes to keep us warm or the gift of love from our family and friends.
Whatever it is that you are grateful for can be expressed so that these are all gifts to our lives and while we go about our daily lives we may forget to be grateful for all the things that we DO have which we may not always take the time to appreciate. When we find the time to love ourselves, to nurture our souls, and to appreciate life, we become better parents, friends, and humans.”
Write Down One Thing You are Grateful for Every Day
It’s important for our mental health to look into ourselves and see what we are grateful for. Sometimes when we are down it can feel like there is nothing to be grateful for when in fact, we always have so much to be grateful for. The more you see the good in your life the more positive you could be in the long run.
Kelly Housman, Licensed Counselor, Writer, and Speaker is all about self-love.
“Appreciating all the love you get on the daily is huge too. Write down one thing that went well today and that you’re grateful for each day. Even if it’s as basic as my heart is beating, my lungs are breathing. We all have something to be thankful for!”
It’s important to love ourselves and to do that we need to take care of ourselves sometimes even above others. Don’t feel guilty you deserve to be happy.